My Mom Rappelled Off a 27 Story Building

January 16, 2016 // 0 Comments

“So you are jumping off a building. For charity.” “I am rappelling off a building for charity. There is a difference.” “How is that different?” “Rappelling [...]

My Mom and Her Cell Phone

January 9, 2016 // 1 Comment

My mom is a good person. She has compassion for people in need, taught second grade for over twenty years, and can play a mean honky-tonk on the piano. She doesn’t deserve [...]

Post Colonoscopy: I Can See Clearly Now

December 27, 2015 // 1 Comment

When you’re young you take sex seriously, what with all the porn breathing and trying to hold yourself at the right angles, but that bumping and humping becomes pretty [...]

Cookie Karma: A Lesson in Regifting

December 12, 2015 // 8 Comments

You know how you need a miracle, and then the miracle never arrives? Well, one time, this one time in my life, I actually got the miracle I needed. In 1995 I dragged my son [...]

Real Talk: Magic 8 Ball

November 21, 2015 // 5 Comments

When I was seven, I got a Magic 8-Ball. The very first question I asked it was if I would marry my first-grade crush. Clearly the answer was “no,” as I am not currently [...]